Sunday, October 5, 2008

The Stories We Tell That Fail To Help

Guest article

The Stories We Tell That Fail To Help

By Tammy Stanley

Our youngest daughter babysits a little 3-year old girl two to three nights a week, and she often arrives home with forty bucks in her hand. A few weeks ago, I kept commenting that I couldn't believe she was getting paid that because "Back in my day (Yes, I actually used that phrase) I would babysit three kids for 6 hours and be ecstatic if I came home with t wenty dollars."

After a few days of me continually saying, "Geez, I can't believe you get paid that much, blah, blah, blah," my husband gave me a good talking to! "Look," he said, "You can be glad Zoƫ's making that money, and if you really believe in abundance, then it's not hurting anyone for her to earn however much that woman wants to pay her. BE GRATEFUL!"

Ahem, yes dear reader, sometimes "The Tamster" isn't perfect (Ah, I've officially lived even after admitting that!), and often requires someone to set her straight.

It is incredibly difficult to experience the wealth you seek, if you entertain restricting ideas about what one should or should not earn for any particular job. I am reminded of a powerful paragraph in Wallace Wattles book, The Science of Getting Rich, a book you can read in an evening and study the rest of your life:

Do not tell others of any past financial troubles. Do not think of the m at all. Do not tell anyone about the poverty of your parents or the hardships of your early life. To do any of these things is to mentally class yourself with the poor for the time being, and this will certainly check the movement of things in your direction.

You can see that by going on about the woes of baby sitting back in my day, I was aligning myself with all the thoughts associated with that past experience - hard work, low wages, and little to no appreciation.

Hmmm.... I guess if we really want to open the flood gates to abundance, we need to be sure we really believe in it. We really need to let go of those past troubles. And the way to begin that is to stop talking about them. Once we quit talking about them, we can truly leave them behind.

This week I want to encourage you to do this in your business. If you have had difficulties with the person that sponsored you, if you have had trouble getting bookings, if yo u have had challenges earning enough money, etc., stop talking about that. Every time you talk about it, you affirm the truth of it and therefore it's longevity.

Let's look at what happens when we speak of how lousy our sponsor is or was. Every time we do that, we mentally exclude the possibility of her becoming more supportive. We also affirm that without a good sponsor, the journey will be long and arduous. And ultimately, if things are not going really well, we communicate that we cannot help it - it's our sponsor's fault.

The truth is that people do the best they are capable of doing at the time. As Maya Angelou says, "If you had known better, you would have done better." If your sponsor has failed to give you the support you wish she had, give her a break, affirm in your heart that if she had known better, she would have done better, and in this random act of kindness you will release her to be a better sponsor to you and to others.

The truly unique aspect of this industry is that competitors share ideas and offer help. You are not limited to only your sponsor's help. Just by regularly attending tele-conferences, sales meetings, and national conferences you will end up with more friends and support than you ever dreamed possible (And of course, don't forget that every week you get to hear from little ol' me!).

Years ago I saw Anthony Robbins at a live event. I think the only thing I remember about his talk, besides the fact that the guy is just plain TALL, was a story about two brothers. I don't know if the story is actually true, but I believe it rings of truth.

Two brothers wind up on opposite ends of the spectrum. One is extremely successful while the other is behind bars in jail. In order to discover how two brothers from the same family could end up so different, a psychologist goes to interview each of them. When asked how they explained thei r current situation, each responded, "What do you expect, considering the parents I had?"

The cool thing about this story is that you never learn what kind of parents they had! I believe it doesn't matter because the real difference is that one of the brothers took responsibility for his own life and the other didn't. Successful people don't bother with blame. They see themselves as having the power to change.

One of my favorite authors, Vernon Howard, says that the main reason we refuse to give up our pain and/or frustrations is that we get a secret thrill from them. The first time I read that, I felt as though an arrow had been shot right through my heart, and I had an instantaneous understanding of how true that was in my own life.

I understand the secret thrill found in the "woe-is-me" recording (Been there, done that way more times than I care to mention), and I can assure you that there's something much grander w aiting for you, when you let that go. I won't spoil the fun for you in learning just what that is. Let go of those old limiting stories and watch what happens!

Author, Sales Trainer, and Professional Speaker Tammy Stanley publishes the propelling 'Sales Refinery Insights' weekly ezine for direct sales professionals. If you're ready to jump-start your direct sales business, make more money, and create more value, get your FREE tips now at

Greg Cryns

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